Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Dear President Obama 2: Responses

After writing my own hypothetical letter/speech to President Obama, I invited my friends to do the same thing. As you will see, a common theme emerged.

Status Update:

Matthew Rozsa

In five hundred words or less, what would you say to President Obama if given the opportunity?

Feel free to post your answers in the comments below this status update. Mine can be found at this link:

Matthew Rozsa
PS: Please do not attack anyone on the basis of what they write. My goal is to obtain a broad range of perspectives on this topic, not to spark a debate.

Lacey A. Sparks
Is this commented directed at me? I didn't intend to attack anyone, but as my name implies, I do like sparking debates. =P

Matthew Rozsa
Actually, Lacey, you may notice that the comment I posted under this status was written BEFORE my remark to you about being unduly hostile to Jake.

That said, I don't mind it when you try to spark debates, even though that isn't the goal of this status update. Are you interested in trying this experiment (i.e., writing in five hundred words what you would say to President Obama if given the opportunity)?

Jake Emery
I hate it when people talk about me like I'm not in the room ;-)


Lacey A. Sparks
I'm sorry that I was unduly hostile. I didn't mean to be!

Christina Cruz
Dear B. Obama,

Please include a handout to be given out as a supplement to your presentation entitled: "Ten Point Plan to Oppress White People: Step one Become President", at our next Black people meeting. See you in Compton.


C. Cruz

Matthew Rozsa
Legendary, Christina. Simply legendary.

Matthew Rozsa
To Lacey and Jake:

I await your letters.

Lacey A. Sparks
Like anybody wants to follow Christina's awesomeness! Well. Here goes:

Dear Obama,

Here is my secular winter holiday wish list:

1) I wish you would grow some giant Democrat balls and do something other than cater to Republicans and moderates. That's not how CHANGE happens.

2) Quit using teh wimminz as your bargaining chip any time you want to pass something such as health care reform. We helped elect you, don't forget about us.

3) Quit smoking. It looks stupid when you try to fix health care.

4) Merely getting elected was a huge, history-making step. But don’t just rest on those laurels.

5) Keep on being gorgeous. It was about damn time we got a hot president.

(108 words)

Matthew Rozsa
You can swoon over Obama if you want, but my knees will always buckle when I see James Buchanan (who, by the way, was probably gay).

Philip D. Stern
I'd start with "Hello" and decide on the remaining 499 words once I heard his response.

Jen Hay
I'd probably say something along of lines of "Congratulations on everything you've accomplished in office so far. However, you really need to stand up for what the majority of Americans want; we were the ones who elected you. Don't let the Republicans push you into doing otherwise, they aren't the majority of America (even though they like to think so)."
Ah, knowing me I'd just say "Hello" and listen to him talk...

Sean Davis
Dear Mr. President,

Hey What's up? Nice suit! Anyway, I don't know what you were doing for the last two years, but you really missed out on an opportunity to get some serious shit done. Change doesn't come from bending over and letting Republicans paddle you "fraternity style" into submission. Oh well. Nice suit though!

Jake Emery
‎"Thank you for your service, Mr. President. I wouldn't mind being president for just a day, myself, to better understand what it is, exactly, that one must tolerate in your position. Truly, it must be very difficult. I've driven from New York City to Jackson, Wyoming, and I've seen the enormous diversity we enjoy in this country. It never occurred to me, sir, why Congress couldn't just work together...until I passed through Appalachia, through the Mississippi Watershed, through the Great Plains and over the Rockies. I understand, now, that our country may very well be too large for its own good, for how does a representative from New York County, NY, argue in favor of a bill that courts her district, when that bill will do almost nothing for the constituents of another representative, in some high desert county in Colorado? It's too, big, Mr. President. Frankly, I'm hugely impressed that you've accomplished what you have, and I'm deeply grateful. Thank you for your service, Mr. President. Oh, um, if I may be so bold, sir - is your oldest daughter betrothed? Oh, she isn't? Indeed, hmm, quite right, yes... You know I'm quite the fetching fellow...Oh, of course I understand, yes, enjoy your meeting with the undersecretary for Appalachian defense minuteman train - WAIT. Sir, you just fucking lied to me! Mr. President! Wait, who're these guys?! Oh, they're strong! Oh, they're Secret Service..."

235 words.

Matthew Rozsa
Jake, you do realize that the president's oldest daughter (Malia) is twelve, right? I wouldn't blame Obama for having his Secret Service personnel cart you away if tried to court her.

Jake Emery
What's your point? And for all the intelligence community members reading this: I'm clearly joking. I don't actually want to become romantically involved with First Daughter Malia Obama. I want to be romantically involved with Scarlett Johannson.

Christina Cruz
Lol, Im....disturbed.

Lacey A. Sparks
Pedophilia LOL

Matthew Rozsa
Hey, at least you didn't poke fun at a thirteen-year-old girl's appearance by calling her ugly on national television.

Do you know who did? Rush Limbaugh.

Do you know who also told poor children that they should stop whining and start dumpster diving? Rush Limbaugh.

Do you know who coined the term "feminazi" and said feminism had been created to help unattractive women? Rush Limbaugh.

Do you know whose supporters proudly call themselves "dittoheads" without the slightest hint of irony? Rush Limbaugh.

Do you know who I would wish to be shot out of a cannon into the sun if it wasn't for the fact that such an act would be cruel both to the armament and the star in question?

Take one guess.

Jake Emery
Yo, Chelsea is gorgeous. Rush called that one totally wrong lol.

Emily Friedhoff
Dear President Obama,
The republicans are not, nor will ever be, your friends. Leave them behind. Go Chicken Little on their asses. "If you don't help bake the pie, you can't have a slice". You are unintentionally damaging this country by trying to reach across the aisle to these murderous traitors. These people are looking to destroy you and all the progress you have already made. You must defend it before the republicans raze it to the ground.

You have a little less than 2 years to prove that you can be a leader. You're above parallel play with Republicans. Work with the people that WANT to help you.

Thank you for your time,
Emily F.

No comments: